Originally Commissioned by Sound Correspondent, 2022

So the roof caved in, your dog caught syphilis – treatable but expensive, your guitar caught
fire, and your internet-provider doubled the price. Suffice to say, times are tough, the moths
escaping your pocket are less than helpful, and you’re running on financial fumes.
Welcome is the common plight of the professional artist.

Unfortunately, unlike a regular job where there are social bridges, financial aid, securities
put in place for those scurrying from one job to the next, for an artist, government support
is in short supply until your untimely death wherein you’re instantly accredited as a corner
stone of culture and an integral part of the community.

In short, if you’re an artist, you’re on your own when money gets lean.
Yes, despite the fact that we know Mozart, Van Gogh, Billie Holiday and Tesla died penniless,
the myth persists, ever-presently, that if you’re good enough, if you’re talented enough, the
free market will look after you as an artist.

Well, rather that pick apart something inherently silly, a blatant tautology, let’s just grin and
bare it, put down our paint brushes, and pick our sleeves.

Here’s how to survive on a dime, when you’re down and out, and realise George Orwell
already milked the topic so dry, you can’t earn a penny more off it.

1 Learn to Cook

You know that stuff that cold expats (if they’re white) and cold immigrants (if they’re non-
white) carry in big coloured boxes on their backs and they cycle through city streets, being
yelled at in all directions, deliver to doors? That stuff is called food.

No, it shouldn’t cost 15 euro for food. And, no, it’s not okay you didn’t tip.

That stuff can be delicious, and despite what you may think – is not too hard to make.
Youtube is your friend. Budget supermarkets are your mistresses. You don’t tell anyone
about either. But, my god, a life without delving into either is a life wasted.

Did you know making tortillas from scratch takes about 30 minutes, and taste better than
anything you’ve ever sampled in your life – and has about three ingredients? Well, it’s true.
How do I know? Youtube. How much did it cost? I think they actually paid me. It’s insanity.
Same goes for Indian curries – look up Rajma, it’ll change your life. Make burritos from
scratch. Beans are everything. They cost practically nothing, and keep you going all week.

If you like spice, and live in a country like Germany (like I do) where pepper is considered “scharf” – you positively have to bribe your waiter to dab a tad of tabasco to taste your
paprika laden lentil soup. Home cooking will reinvigorate your tastebuds and free you from
the confines of you community’s collective pallet.
Be free! Be flavourful! Eat cheaply! You won’t go back, and you’ll balance your budget.

2 Swallow Your Pride

If you’ve ever uttered something to the effect of “I’d never do a corporate gig” or “I’d only
commission my work, if the idea was entirely my own” – then you’re excusing yourself from
developing.

I once found myself selling my wears for an ad company, a job for a Chinese company that
specifically wanted me to write a song in the same vain as a certain Jose Gonzales song.
It became apparent by the end of the day, that by “in the same vain” they meant blatantly
steal the melody, the vocal style, the guitar style and record identically to the record.
You have the draw the line somewhere. Stealing, evidently was mine. But, I did learn
something: struggling doing something you don’t in any way want to do, so long as you’re
struggling within the confines of your craft, is never time wasted.

You learn things taking commissions. You stretch different creative muscles. Yes, a lot of the
time, what your left with is something you wouldn’t enjoy, and can’t understand why
anyone else would – but, you’ll sharpen your own focus, and become more adamant about
your style of doing things. What’s more, when the time comes to create on your own terms
you’ll restore the sense of blissful playfulness you started with. You feel like you broke of
jail, and all you want to do is eat that cheese burger you’ve been fantasising about for years
of confinement.

Freedom is something you lose sight of when it’s all you know. Restrictions, be it creative, or
financial, can reacquaint you with yourself, and your reasons for creating in the first place.
So, you got to take a job, any job, and it’s in your craft – do it. Take the money and run. No
one need know, and you’ll only grow from it.

3 Be Honest With Yourself & Those Around You

Don’t suffer in silence. If you’re too embarrassed to let your friends know you can’t afford to
go to the bar with them, are you sure they’re your friends?

Tell them. You’ll be surprised, I promise you. If they don’t offer to cover you for one or two,
then fuck them. You need better friends. If you falling out of financial sorts is rare, then they
have no reason to judge you.

It’s a lean job, creating. If you’re truly not delusional, your friends will know it, and they’ll
understand. Tell them you’d love to come, but haven’t two pennies to scrape together to do
so, and they’ll cover you.

Better yet, tell them to come over. You got some rajma on the hob, and anyone who
doesn’t come over with a bottle of red is just plain rude.

4 Keep Going: Follow Your Gut, Never Fads

The go-to emotion, when faced with dismal financial options, is despondency. You’ll curse
the craft and they day you gave up that law degree or marketing course to do it. The bed
will lure you in and you’ll frown about the house until Netflix acts the darkest of all queries:
“Are you still watching”.
Yes, Netflix… I sadly am.

This pitfall is inevitable, but, with time, it becomes surmountable. What’s more you can
lessen its impact. Expect to lose big fish. Expect what you rely on to fall through.
It sounds negative, but, I assure you it’s realistic.

It’s not just the creative makers who fall victim to the odds against them, it’s the venues, the
event makers, the whole array of workers along the field of your craft are utterly dependent
on the whims and fancies of ever changing tastes.

That’s why following a fad is the most ludicrous artistic choice of them all. It’s the equivalent
to hedging all your bets on umbrella stocks after a freak rainstorm.

Do what your truly love from the sincerest depths of who you are, and why you felt
compelled to create – and your people will emerge.

Despite what some odd, damaging people may say, no one is a snowflake. Everyone at their
core is made of the same stuff. If you show off you innards as they truly are, warts and all,
you’ll resonate. It takes guts. Naturally. But, that’s the only path that leads to something
resembling security.

You’ll never make it where you need to be without others. Ours is wholly dependent field.
Embrace that. Be completely honest about it. You can’t go it alone. Anyone who’s ever
support you, whether emotionally, financially, or with a sandwich, is your patron.
There is no art without patronage. Be grateful. The storm will pass.

Now, get up, eat, and bring your dog for a walk… and, if possible, get them spayed.

Conor Kilkelly 5/3/22